SharkBoy interrupts the beauty of pictures for this tale which took place in Ugly City recently.

A few days ago, as I was walking to work, I noticed this lady coming towards me, her eyes focused on her cellphone’s screen. Now, I always walk to the right of the sidewalk, giving all the space possible to other people who might come the opposite way or want to pass me should they walk faster or even run. But this lady was not paying any attention to the rest of the world, she was stuck insider her own. As she came within a foot of me, I suddenly said something to make her aware she was about to run into me… and this is what happened:

Me: Hum! Look up Lady!
Her: Huh?

She looked up but still managed to bump into my left arm and then hit my bag right on her hip.

Her: Why don’t you look where you’re going?

I stopped to look at her with my eyes wide opened.

Me: ME? I was looking, that’s I warned you in the first place.
Her: Shut up faggot!

Without missing a beat, not without thinking, I lashed back:

Me: Why don’t you shut your sad divorced ugly fat face.

And by the surprised hurt look she gave me, I think I hit 100% on all points.