So for lunch, to clear my mind of all the yelling, I decided to go for a walk to nowhere, just take the first street and turn left, then turn right, then turn left, then right, then left… you know, the kind of zigzag one does with no destination but with time to kill…

I ended up on Spadina Ave. south of College, right smack in the middle of Toronto’s Chinatown… a super busy area, and even more so on a sunny day like today was. As I was walking north, I spotted this video store announcing great sales in their window… I walked in… It wasn’t very big at all but every inch of space was displaying dvd covers, half of the selections were Chinese hits, the other half were old American or British movies, nothing recent at all… but right away I spotted and old tv show I used to love as a child, it was a japan anime tv show about a white lion called Leo The Lion… It’s from the mid-60′s and was playing in French in Quebec in the early 70′s on my Saturday morning cartoon schedule… It’s sort of a controversy as a lot of people are saying that Disney’s The Lion King was sort of copied from that old anime show… Anyway, I digress, there it was on the shelf and the sign above it said: “$4 a movie or $10 for 3 movies”… I was holding in my hand Volume 2 and just below on another shelf was Volume 3… but no Volume 1 in sight. I saw this nice old man who was manning the store and asked if he knew where I could find volume 1… I didn’t get an answer but out of nowhere, this lady sprung out from the back of the store and said that Volume 1 was “done with”, maybe later more would come, but “done with” for now… I decided to continue browsing even though he selection was quite crappy, just in case I could spy the missing volume 1 somewhere hidden in the mess of bad Hollywood forgotten “gems”…

The couple exchanged words I couldn’t understand and he took off on what I assumed was an errand while the lady continued to keep an eye on all my movements. A man my age walked in the store and she greeted with a warm hello and smile, he was obviously a good customer as he asked right away if she had anything new, to which she motioned for him to come in the back. She pulled out a set of keys from her pocket and unlocked a door leading to a “secret” room and stood there deciding if she could leave me alone in the store or him alone in the back, she opted to stay with me and closed the door behind him… By that time I had decided to take the 2 dvds of Leo The Lion and pay the $8 and not work so hard to find a 3rd for $10 special… I gave her the dvds and asked if I could pay with my debit card, she said yes and then pointed out to the box saying that each of them contained 2 dvds and would charge me $13 for the 2 purchases (where did that math come from I don’t know).. I made a face meaning for her to get serious and with my chin I pointed to the ugly handmade sign showing $4 a movie… She still pointed to the fact that each box contained 2 dvds and $13 was a GOOD deal… I told her I wouldn’t be getting them and that she should change her sign as it was false advertising… again she pointed to the 2 discs in each box… so I left…

But…

… when I got outside, I made a show of pulling out my phone and pretended to make a call, then I looked at the front of the store, pretending to make a mental note of the address on the door and the name of the store… It worked, she had obviously seen me do this and came outside to ask me what I was doing… I said I was calling the City to report her false advertising… She changed her tune right away saying she would sell me the movies for the price I understood it to be, $8 for both volume 2 and 3… I said it was too late, I didn’t want them anymore… and then added: “and you might want to tell that dude to leave your backroom as I will also tell the city about it”… She disappeared so fast… and I went on my way to continue my nice sunny walk…

Of course I didn’t call the City, what do I care, but her attitude had burnt me so I thought it necessary to teach her a lesson my way… The SharkBoy way… Make her sweat it for awhile…

One of my favourite moment in the movie too.

Please enjoy the version we never saw at the theatre:

Today, a similar silly thing happened bright and early as I was settling in at my local Starbucks with a coffee and a new book. The place was really busy but fortunately, my fave table was free, so I darted to it and put my bag and coat on one of the 2 chairs, took my book out of my bag and set it near the other chair, the one I’d be sitting at, put my headphones away, took my phone out of my pocket and with my tumbler in hand, made my way to the service counter… I noticed the group of 9 students standing close to my table but ignored them… After ordering my Personal Grande Bold, fixing it with a touch of skim milk, I return to my table only to find this skinny female students with her hand on the back of the chair I was going to sit on:

Me: Excuse me (as I prepared to sit down and motioning with my chin at her hand on my chair)
Cunt: Oh, I was going to use that chair
Me: Well, as you can see, it’s already taken
Cunt: You don’t need 2 chairs do you?
Me: No. I can move my bag and you can take the other chair
Cunt: Why can’t I just take that one and you sit there (pointing to the 2nd chair at that table)
Me: huh… cuz I prefer to sit on that side of the table and have the sunlight at my back and not in my face…

At that point, I reached over at the next table setting, grabbed an unused chair and twisted it around in her direction, exactly where she was standing so she could sit down facing her friends. It was that close, I didn’t even have to move my feet. I also didn’t have to give her my chair nor removed my bag and coat from the other… Simple, easy-peasy, problem solved, goodnight. I said goodnight.

Cunt: Wow… It’s that big a deal for me to get that chair there? (pointing at the one I was preparing to sit down on)
Me: Dude… seriously… you’re just showing your age now, take that one and move on.
Cunt: You’re showing your age… Dude…
Me: I think you’re mistaking age and maturity here, something you might learn in your second year.
Girl in group: Claire, c’mon, just sit down.
Cunt: Why, he’s being an asshole
Me: I think you can guess which body part that makes you in my mind…

She finally turned around, joined her group as they put 4 tables together in a makeshift conference table. I wasn’t shocked that they left all sorts of empty cups and wrappers on the tables when they finally left, nor that they didn’t put the furniture where it belonged…

Aaaaaaah… Good morning to me.

Last night, they played their version of Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know… Such a great song…

Here’s the original video in all it’s glory:

DR and I have decided on this sunny Easter day to take the cameras out for another one of our photo challenges, this time, he thought it would be great to make it to the closest skateboard park and take some action shots… First place we landed at felt kind of weird, you know, sort of pervert like as the skateboarders were all about 7 yrs old.. So we darted out of there and made our way to another park a tad further on and got more luck with the crowd there, a tad older in age with a good mix of bikes and skateboard… we left just before the girly girl on her razor made her way there….

Here are my pix and here are DR’s pix… as usual, the decision to crown a winner is yours…

Here we go!!!

Flying

90 degrees

Long shadow

Good air

Rad

Happy and Free

In March, Toronto hosts a St-Patrick’s Day Parade every year on the Sunday before the actual date, and unlike Pride and Santa Claus, it sure is not as well attended and therefore brings a certain clumsiness to itself and its floats.

Last week, DR and I took our cameras to Yonge St to try and catch some of the action:

This is taken a few seconds after DR realized that he had forgotten to put the freshly charged battery back into his camera. Sad Face. But you can see how uninterested other people were and how unattended it really was. Hey there Guy With A Ladder. And yes, I’m in the middle of the street taking this picture AND the parade is on at that same time… (cue the tumbleweeds)

Best thing I can say about this marching band is that they were REALLY marching in unison…

If it’s green, put it in the parade. Even the floats from Christmas to celebrate the release of the Muppet movie you say?. Yes, it’s green and the DVD is coming out next week. Do it!!!

Speaking of Miss Piggy

Humour I guess… Some people might find that funny… I might too after a pint of green beer, who knows.

More of it…

Then there was a cute dog… with his Irish human I assume

A few hot wheels in need of a flux capacitor

They say sluts get cuts, or bitches get stitches, but these sisters will get blisters.

“Is this fucking parade over yet???” asks the poor leprechaun in disguise.

Here he is boys and girls, The Big Guy himself… With snakes and all.

This was on the Titanic float… I know, I know.. you also all equate St-Patrick’s Day with the worst maritime tragedy ever and you all feel sorry for this poor chick getting whipped by the flag as she’s trying her best King of the World rendition… but let’s all remember that the ship was built in Belfast after all… so, there’s your connection. Happy St-Patr…bloop bloop bloop

Oh, and just in case you don’t believe me, here’s a proof:

There you have it world. Toronto celebrates like no one else.. We are a proud city but I don’t think we should too proud of this little shindig… Maybe next year it will be better… depends on what’s left over from the Santa Claus parade… In the meantime, tonight I’m having some green beer to try and forget last Sunday afternoon.

I could tell from the level of mouth noise just how busy it was in the waiting room even before entering, so I wasn’t too surprised when I saw the big line-up and all the rest of the “happy” people sitting down waiting their turn at the counter. Like a good employee, I stood back at my desk and started serving the crowd, not one of us on either side of the counter in the mood to be there… And so it went for about 30 minutes until everyone was given their forms and number. Then, an older lady who was there with her daughter got up from her seat and came to me:

Her: “Can I ask you why you were so rude to that lady?”
Me: “Huh… Ma’am, how can I help YOU?!? (emphazing that last word)
Her: “Well, that’s my question, I want to know why you were rude to her!!!”
Me: “Ok, which lady Ma’am? (pointing to a woman) The one who kept using the F word or (pointing to a second woman) the one who said I should be paying her ticket since I had such a cushy job paid by her tax dollars”
Her: “Oh… Well… It’s just that… Well… You could be more patient with people…”
Me: “I usually am when I’m not being someone’s personal punching bag”

She went back to her seat and most likely waited impatiently for the very next time she could NOT mind her own business again…

Shut it old bag!

Here’s an amazing split screen video showcasing both Disneyland in Anaheim and Magic Kingdom in Orlando…

Don’t you wish you were there too right now?

We took the streetcar from outside the door, took a detour on Broadview and then rode all the way to Neville Park.

Quiet morning street

Always be aware of where you’re standing

Arriving at our destination

Pebble beach

Cotton candy beach scene

No wheels allowed past the fence

Future NHLers by the beach

Flying

Beach life in February

At the fence

Sweet ride

Meanwhile, Troopy the Stormtrooper was on an adventure of his own when his enemy Sborger the Destroyer escaped from his cell and was on a mission to destroy the Beach area. Troopy promised he’d find him and stop his evilness.

Troopy searching his empire of signs of his enemy

Troopy finds a map to help him out

Finding destruction, he must be nearing Sborger. Maybe past the glaciers…

Troopy must climb icy obstacles

Taking a rest, knee deep in snow, no Wampas in sight thankfully.

From atop a high tree, he sees Sborger… he must be stopped.

Back on firm ground, trudging through waist deep obstacles…

Finally finding tracks of Sborger’s ride, definitely nearing the bastard…

Pew! Pew! The Destroyer is destroyed…

The future looks bright

Now check out DR’s pictures on his blog and decide who should get the bragging rights to best pictures…

I am paranoid about this so much that I keep deodorant at work just in case…

Yesterday I was in line to pay for some fresh jujubes at the Bulk Barn. They have 4 cashiers but only one line to wait into. 4 people in front of me is this really weird acting lady, her clothes seem a tad worn but otherwise not necessarily out of today’s fashion. Her hair is a mess but she covered it with a knitted beret. It’s ugly but it’s cold outside so she’s allowed. It’s her turn at the cash and she’s talking up a storm with the cashier who looks like she’s not that interested. The cashier is somewhat grimacing… Of course when it’s my turn, I end up at that exact cashier and say: “I promise I’ll be a lot quicker.” I hand her my bag AND my money at the same time. And then I smell it. Shit. It smells like shit. Like a used diaper. It’s pretty strong and of course my paranoia kicks in and I NEED TO MAKE SURE everyone around knows I’m not responsible. So I look around both sides of me and back at the cashier and go: “Good lord, that lady should wear a different perfume.” And I give a little nervous laugh… The cashier gets it, she laughs, hands me my change and reach for a bottle of hand sanitizer…