Sharkboy

Yesterday was a busy day on the sidewalks of Toronto:

On Dundas at Bay
Girl 1: Is Janet married?
Girl 2: Janet Thompson? No, she’s divorced
Guy 1: well, she’s kinda widow, her husband died 2 yrs ago
Girl 1: Oh that explains a lot…
Me (to myself): if she’s kinda widow, doesn’t that mean her husband just kinda died?

On Dundas at Elizabeth
Woman 1: People live above those restaurants, look how dirty the windows are, that’s disgusting!
Man 1: Not just the windows, these are chinese restaurants, I’m sure they’re full of chinese rats and chinese cockroaches.
Woman 1: But look at the windows… that’s just disgusting
Me (to myself): I’m pretty sure these rats and cockroaches are canadian, but the dirty windows aren’t, we’re really a clean window kind of people.

At the movies (Superbad, which uses the words penis, dick, cock about 152 times within the first 10 minutes)
Underaged Girl 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6: ***Talk loud, talk loud, talk loud*** #15
Me: Humphhhhh!
Porperly Aged Girl 1 & Properly Aged Girl 2: *flashing dirty looks in UAG 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6′s direction*
Underaged Girl 1: teehee, he said penis
Underaged Girl 2: BURRRRRRP! (after slurping on that giant Coca-cola of hers)
Underaged Girl 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6: AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Me (loudly): Just how old are you? Fuuuuck… How annoying is that!
Underaged Girl 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6: **silence** (for fear I might go get the manager as they are not even 14 yrs of age)
Properly Aged Girl 1 to Properly Aged Girl 2: Finally!

While waiting in line for coffee this morning, I overheard the following:

Chick 1: No, I like her
Chick 2: I like her too, I’m sad she lost her kids
Chick 1: You know what it is? She’s just got so much pressure on her right now
Chick 2: Yeah, I agree, it’s hard.
Chick 1: What she needs is someone to tell her what she’s doing wrong.
Chick 2: Like that night on the VMA, it was her big comeback and she didn’t want to be there, someone should have told her not to do it.

Then I got served and left… it was very painful #99