Sharkboy

You must watch both videos before commenting. It’s the law.

We all remember BJ Thomas’ version… or the even more popular Blue Suede version with the hooga chaka hooga ooga in it… but you might never want to hear it again now that Hasselhoff has really destroyed it:

And then someone with a REAL sense of humour did this to it:

Please Throw A Fish At Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

It’s been a long time since I talked about Nosey Knowzitall. But fear not, she’s back for quick visit. And this time, she really pissed me off.

This morning, a new staff sitting next to me asked a question regarding some procedures we do, a guest was on the phone asking. I wasn’t 100% sure of the answer and didn’t really want to tell her to go ask someone else, so I told her that I believed she would need to do this and that but that the final decision rested with the Justice of the Peace when they met with him/her. See, I covered myself because, it’s ALWAYS up to the Justice of the Peace what happens in court.

Then on the corner of my eyes, I see Nosey Knowzitall, walk past… somewhat fast.

Approximately 3 minutes and 32 seconds later, my lead came in to ask the new girl if she had just told a guest to do this and that. Apparently that person had just called him to say that someone had just given him information that she didn’t think was right. Since I could feel the back of my head burning, I turned around to make eye contact with him and peeped out that I was the one to have suggested she said that to the guest… He then set us straight by saying that the guest should really do that AND this AND that it would be up to the Justice of the Peace to make the final decision anyway.

Now, I wasn’t born yesterday… I know damn fucking well this person didn’t hang up the phone with my coworker JUST to call again and magically land on the office lead to ‘verify’ the information she just received was correct IN 2 FUCKING MINUTES… It would take that long just for the guest to redial and get a phone to ring… I mean who does that anyway… No siree, I know it was Nosey who instead of coming to me to correct what I had just said, went to my lead to blabber some sort of cockamamie story about how I had almost brought down the entire office with one single answer.

And they wander why I always say no to overtime.

I’ve been trying to find the right words to describe my new Jabra Halo bluetooth headphones without sounding too conceited but there’s just no other way, with those on, I’m just the fucking most coolest little shit in town… that’s it…

I’ve been rocking them for the last week and completely loving them, they give a nice bass sound which is good when your playlist has a lot of Pet Shop Boys and Kylie Minogue. The few time I’ve used them for telephone conversation, I wasn’t too impressed, but then again, no one has my cell phone number, so who’s going to call me… DR text me if he needs to get in touch with me, so the phone is not necessarily a feature I use much.

Don’t be a hater, really, go get your own pair and join my cool club. And by the way, less than 2 minutes after I took that cool pic, I bit the inside of my cheek while chewing gum. Just how cool is that??

In my office, all the duties are interchangeable. One day you can do a specific duty at one location and the next day, another duty somewhere else… We have numbered working desks and service counters, which means a lot of us don’t have a specific location to sit at every day as any station can be used by anyone depending on what they are assigned to do that day or week… It is as “ass” as it sounds. No one has a sense of belonging, no one has really keeps pictures at their desk, flowers, anything that would make your desk your own. We used to, but that’s now gone. That place is a blend as blend can be.

Yesterday I was assigned some stuff to do away from the counter and I ended up sitting at a desk where someone who worked there before me had taken some notes:

I’m not sure if the prayer is for the bills to pay, the money to collect, the fact that hotwire.com was picked up by “Stars” or maybe because someone had too much of that Lezajsk…

Tonight, with a bit of sadness, we watched episode 13 of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, which for cable TV means the season’s last.

I say sadness because, like Mad Men and Dexter, I have absolutely loved every episode of the show… the writing, the art direction, the action, the acting, the sex, the gore, the surprises, the cast, the unapologetic nudity… everything was stellar. I just cannot imagine anyone else in any of these roles. I’m just hoping it will be renewed and brought back for more of it.

The built up to the last minutes of the last episode was so great, I’d even venture to say, it was biblical.

I’ll definitely want this on DVD when they release it… If only to see again one of the best villain ever on TV, Ilithyia played by gorgeous Viva Bianca, OR the very deceitful Ashur played by bearish Nick Tarabay… And these are only 2 of the many reasons this show worked so well…

Do yourself a favour, if you can stomach it, go watch that show. And don’t giggle like me every time they flash Xena’s larger than life breasts…

Gorgeous Tilt-Shift Video of a dream vacation:

Well… I should’ve heeded my advice.

As we’re putting our Winter clothes away and taking the Summer ones out, I found poor deal old DR’s pork pie hat… flattened:

Off to the hat shop we go!

Well, two things of note anyway…

1. When I was coming out of a store today, on Yonge St at the corner of Gould, I heard this majorly loud noise, like a truck had struck an army of skeleton wearing rocks for clothes… I didn’t see it happen, but I saw all the dust rise up in the air, I went to investigate and the side wall of a building had just collapsed on the sidewalk… I didn’t see anyone lying on the ground under the mess, so I knew we didn’t have to panic, but, this is a street I walk on all the time… how freakish is that??? I kicked myself as I was telling people at work when I returned from lunch, I didn’t even have the presence of mind to take my iPhone out and take a picture of it… On my way home, the whole street was closed, there were fire trucks, police cars, media of all kind, a street person or too, a couple of jaded teenagers smoking… way too busy to take a picture then too. But here’s the report from CBC online.

2. And this didn’t happen to me, but I got the call as soon as it was over. This girl I work with and get along fairly well called me after this well-dressed-business-like-lady left the waiting room. See this well-dressed-business-like-lady came in to request a trial date for a ticket she received. When guests first arrive they visit the Information Booth and are given the forms they need to fill out and a little ticket printed with a number based on the type of action you want to take, then you wait your turn at the counter. When she told the attendant what she wanted to do, the attendant who was just at the same time sanitizing her hands, printed the ticket leaving two “wet” finger prints on the ticket:

Business-Like-Lady: (very loudly) EEEEEEEEEwwwwwww… that’s gross!!
Attendant: Relax, it’s just sanitizer…

She picked up the ticket by the tips of her index and thumb and lifted it like it was a pile of steaming smelly shit.

Wouldn’t you know that well-dressed-business-like-lady missed her number, most likely because she went outside to do whatever people do outside when they’re supposed to wait inside for their number, and needed a new one… Up she goes again to the Information Booth to request a new one, of course having made an impression the first time around, the attendant recognized her:

Attendant: Don’t worry, this time my hands are dry
Business-Like-Lady: That was so gross… it looked like cum!
Attendant: Yeah, because that’s what I do, I rub the tickets on my vagina before handing them out

This time the well-dressed-business-like-lady waited inside until she was called and when she left, my phone rang…

That my friends is the caliber of people we see day-in and day-out. Right Curious J?

My good friend Magz told me about this homemade Big Mac recipe. We tried it, by that I mean, DR made it for us and it freakingly tasted exactly like it.

Enjoy:

Ingredients:

Sauce:
- ¾ cup mayonnaise
- ¼ cup finely chopped onion
- 1 tbsp store-bought French salad dressing (orange colored)
- 1 tbsp sweet relish
- 1 tbsp finely chopped dill pickle
- 1 tsp brown sugar
- 1 tsp ketchup
- 1 tsp white vinegar
- salt and pepper

Cheeseburgers
- 4 hamburger buns
- 1 ½ lb lean ground beef
- sliced sandwich pickles
- chopped iceberg lettuce

Method:

Sauce – In a bowl combine all the ingredients. Season with salt and pepper. Refrigerate.

Cheeseburgers:
- Preheat the bbq or George Foreman Grill (as that’s what we’ll be using) setting the burners to high.
- Using a bread knife, slice the top halves of the hamburger buns in half. Set aside.
- Shape the meat into 8 large but very thin patties
Tip: Place the patties between sheets of plastic wrap and flatten by sliding your hand over the top layer.
- Grill the patties until well-done about 3 minutes per side.
- Season with salt and pepper.
- Place the cheese slices on 4 of the patties for the last minute of cooking.
- Toast the buns

Assembly:
- Spread sauce on the bun bottoms
- Lay 1 plain patty on each bun bottom
- Garnish with pickle slices
- Cover with the bun middles
- Spread with sauce and garnish with lettuce
- Top with the remaining patties and the bun tops.

Of course, if you don’t eat meat, you can always replace it with veggie burger patties… So yummy!