Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why OH WHY OH WHY oh why oh why oh why… oh why can’t people walk in a straight line anymore?

And I’m not even referring to the ones that are sexting or reading as they make their way to work, I’m talking about the other ones who are simply going about their business but can’t seem to be able to continue in just one direction: straight ahead. I’ll understand that all the people don’t have to walk at the same speed, but good lord in heavens above, why do I very often feel that people are “attracted” to the space right in front of me, like some magnetic field I have that collects idiots and sets them right smack in my way. Worst of all, if I try to pass them to the right, they go in that direction or if I try to the left, then that’s where they also need to go.

This often results in me uttering some niceties such as: “fucking moron” or “stupid slut” or “fucking slut that’s also a stupid moron” or “fat something”… Fat something always makes me feel thinner, thus better.

And then I get my coffee and all is good.

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