Neighbours
4:00 am…
Again.
That’s when they come home from whatever fucking dive bar they’ve gotten themselves drunk into, or maybe even work at… I don’t know. I don’t care… I just want the noise to stop… If it’s not one falling to the ground drunk as a skunk, it’s the other fucking his mate for hours. Unless they decided to bring a group of friends over wearing lead boots and a handful of fire-ants in their underwear because it seems like not one of them fuckers can sit still for longer than 3 seconds.
We’ve tried the telephone approach. We’ve tried the face to face approach. We’ve tried the threatening approach by telling them we’ll have no choice but to tell the landlord. Every time we get a reprieve, but then it starts again. One night here… one night there… then two nights in a row…
On Friday night, we decided to watch This Is It, the MJ documentary film of the rehearsals for what was to be his last series of concert. Then the first song came on and didn’t realize how loud our sound system was and we both jumped in our seats… It was 7pm… and as DR reached for the remote control to lower the volume, I stopped him: “No, no! It’s time for the neighbours to get up now”…
I wanted a little bit of a revenge or sorts, but after the first song was over, that was all the really loud noise I could take… we lowered it to an acceptable level for us to continue watching.
Thing is, what do we do now? Do we start again with the telephone approach or the face to face approach? Do we tell the landlord? How freakishly childish would that be… Or do we start decorating the stairway to our apartments with signs that read:
“It’s fucking 4am, shouldn’t you be sleeping too?”
“Lead Boots Allowed during Business Hours Only”
“Techno Dance Is Better With Earphones On at Midnight”
“ SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH‘
Give me ideas, I’m too “unrested” to think right now!
February 1st, 2010 at 13:54
I have a few ideas for you:
1. Move!!
Not an option? then,
2. Call the police on them. Don’t you have a noise violation law in Toronto?
3. Call them every time they annoy you. Keep at it every 30 minutes until they stop.
4. Join them! Go upstairs in your PJs with a cup of tea and a cookie and sit on their couch starring at them!
5. I also love the signs idea. If you don’t want to hang them in the stairwell, wrap the appropriate one about their latest annoyance and put it by their door.
6. Create a list of what makes a good neighbour, frame it and give it them on Valentine’s Day.
I hope this helps!
February 1st, 2010 at 21:22
1. Get a cell phone jammer. Turn it on every night before you go to bed.
2. Download a mp3 of the emergency broadcast system noise and put it on repeat when you get up and go to work in the morning.
3. Grease their doorknob.
February 1st, 2010 at 21:23
oops, guess that should have been 7,8,9…
February 2nd, 2010 at 00:44
Just call the police. Easy peasy. They are NOT going to learn from the “nice” neighbour approach OBVIOUSLY.
February 3rd, 2010 at 08:10
I’m loving quite a few of these suggestions, thanks guys…
I was thinking that if I call the police one day, it will be also to say that besides the noise, I think they’re selling drugs out of that apartment…