I don’t tweet… I don’t “friend” people up… I don’t use MSN nor any other similar instant messenger web based programmes, but I have this blog, a couple of email accounts, my trusted iPhone, our home landline and our good old trustworthy Canada Post. I’m set I can keep in touch with people.

But there is one social network I have been using for the last 5 or 6 years: Bear 411. I’m not a huge fan of it and I’m definitely not a paying member, but it has served its purpose many time for chatting with online friends from all over the world. I’ve met a good share of interesting people I’d never get a chance to chat with otherwise. That said, I wouldn’t miss it if I was to just cancel my account, there are some people I enjoy chatting with and there are some fucktards that really need to get a life and stop fucking with others.

Last July, while online, I received a message from a French guy in Montreal asking me about Toronto. He and his partner were coming down in the Fall for an event and wanted to know if I could suggests some hotels, restaurant, bars etc… When I asked what event there were coming for I was expecting the big Halloween party since it was falling on a weekend this year, but it wasn’t that at all… There were driving down to see my beloved Kylie Minogue… So I shared with them that should the strike finally end, I wanted to surprise DR with some tickets. We sort of hit it off, and I won’t lie, it was refreshing to be able to chat in French.

Over the weeks, the friendly chat continued and I even shared my cell phone number so they could call after they arrived to make plans to meet up after the concert.

On the Friday of the concert, I got a call shortly after arriving home. Already the dynamic was very different live… I couldn’t even answer a question that another one was upon me… blah blah blah blah… An hour later, after many eye rolling moments, we finally agreed that it was too complicated for them to walk down the street to meet us at the corner and that we’d walk to their hotel and take the subway together (apparently walking wasn’t the option of choice).

We had a good time that night and the following day we met up again for breakfast and some music and movie shopping. I won’t lie, when they finally said goodbye for their drive home, I gave a big sigh of relief to finally have some quiet time… One of them was a bit exhausting. Funny, but definitely exhausting.

Later on that week, I logged on my Bear 411 account and saw a message from them saying thank you for showing them around, I clicked on “reply later”. It was followed by another message from them asking if we had a good time, again “reply later”. Then a 3rd message asking why I hadn’t replied yet… huh… this one got the “delete” button. Then a final one saying: “hey! where are you? I miss you!”.. Creeeeeeepy and “delete”. A few days later I finally replied telling them we had a nice time at the concert and bar and breakfast, not just being polite, I did have a good time even if it was a bit exhausting. Then the messages started all over again. “Can’t wait to come back”. “When you come to Montreal, you have to tell us, you can stay here”. “We’ll make you an amazing dinner”. “We want to come back soon”. “When are you guys coming to Montreal”. “Will you stop here on Christmas Eve?”… and more. It was obvious I didn’t share their exact feelings. The phone calls at home started as well with most of the time with DR or I just listening and not being able to put a word in edge wise. Then one Thursday night right in the middle of Survivors the phone rang and it was them telling us the “good news” that there were coming the following day… Hummm… really. I told them to give us a call, we could go for a drink or breakfast for sure.

That Friday I was still under the weather and declined to meet them up for a drink at Bear Night… just didn’t feel it… told them we should try to meet for breakfast on the Saturday morning. Bitchy enough I know, but when you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it… We agreed that I’d call them around 9am…

Meeting up for breakfast we were surprise to see they had another guest with them, a friend that came along, nice guy too. Everything was ok except the feelings of not being able to talk at all because one was motor-mouthing once again, and who wants to talk about fucking this guy, fucking that guy, fuck, fuck, fuck, over eggs benedict… Not me. Since they never answered when I asked if there was something they wanted to do, DR and I decided to take them on Queen street west for a walk alongside the cool shops… An hour into that, they wanted to go back to their hotel for a nap… Good.

We met again that night and morning after but I couldn’t really keep my happy face. I even asked that he stopped making sexual reference to everything, and he took it as a joke, which it wasn’t… His boyfriend knew what I meant and they started getting into it at breakfast… Uncomfortable to say the least…

We parted pretty abruptly after that because I knew I would just tell them to go to hell if this went on. I had had enough.

During the week I got a message asking if I had a good time, I didn’t seem myself. I replied with a long list of everything that was wrong and got an even longer message saying that it was all my fault, that I created all this drama, that if I didn’t like his sense of humour I should have said so and that because he comes from a smaller town he’s not used to all the big city drama… The whole thing was so fucking ridiculous that I just deleted it and moved on… Inside I was just happy that was over.

Then a few days later I got a message saying that both his boyfriend and his friend said that they couldn’t believe how I had acted, all the drama I had created… Using my middle finger, I deleted. Followed by another message saying that he was sad I had ended the friendship and that I shouldn’t create so much drama… I think I punched my fist on the keyboard to delete this last one. I should have put him on ignore way before that but I hadn’t.

I won’t reply because the situation became way too childish, and would feel somewhat bad if I was alone feeling that he got on my last nerve, I know I don’t have a lot of patience and don’t suffer fools easily, but that’s the thing, both of us here felt that was all a bit creepy and unfunny in the end.

Online connections… go figure.

(Although sometimes they are good… I married someone I met online)

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