This week I’ve volunteered to go man our one person office at Old City Hall. This little office is there for one purpose only, to take the payment of the defendants who chose to plead guilty with an explanation and pay on the same day. They are all give the choice to pay right away or tell the Justice of the Peace how long they would need to make the payment, 15 days, 30 days, 60 days, etc. A lot of people chose to pay right away and be done with it, most of them happy they were able to save the demerit points on their driver’s license in return.

So, beautiful Old City Hall, a building I’ve always wanted to work at since getting the job with the City. This should be a fantastic week… and then reality set in.

30 minutes after opening my little counter, the drama had already started… I was given instruction to ONLY take payment for those coming out of the court rooms with their “special” receipt, anything else I was to redirect to my regular office… Of course I could use my judgment to make exceptions, I won’t send a 70 year old person on a 15 minute walk just to make a regular payment, right? Or will I???

Anyway, amongst all they defendants wanting to pay, some sneaky people tried their luck and my judgment was based on their attitude as there are huge neon-pink signs describing what this office’s purpose is: payment from people in court on that same day, nothing else…

1.
Uncool Dude: I want to set a trial for this ticket
Me: You’ll have to go to our administration office
Uncool Dude: Why?
Me: Because that’s what the sign says
Uncool Dude: Where is it?
Me: (handing out a 4″ x 4″ little map with direction from the court room to the admin office)
Uncool Dude: I don’t know where that is?
Me: Go up Bay, turn left on Edward
Uncool Dude: Can you write it down?
Me: I just gave you a map WITH arrows, it can’t be any easier than that

2.
Guy: How do I get out of this building?
Me: Seriously?
Guy: (silence)
Me: The total opposite way you came in… (then pointing to the door across from my counter)

3.
Me: It will be $65, how would you like to pay?
Agent: Visa
Me: I’ll need your card please
Agent: (trying to insert his Visa with the chip in the card reader on his side of the counter)
Me: Sir, I’ll need your card here
Agent: No, no, that’s how “these” work (as if it was a new magical Visa card”
Me: Well, I hope your coffee is still very warm because we’ll be here for awhile
Agent: Huh?
Me: I need to swipe your card on my reader first so you can enter your pin on the one in front of you
Agent: That’s not how they do it at other places
Me: Cool, well, If they accept Court payments at these other place, be my guest, otherwise, I’ll need your card here first

4.
Tall Guy: I need to know when this ticket’s payment was processed
Me: (after typing the ticket number in) It was payed on October 25th
Tall Guy: Are you sure?
Me: I’ll print you a copy (print and hand out copy)

He returns 5 minutes later and cuts in front of the line-up as I’m serving another customer
Tall Guy: Hey! You only told me about this one, I have to know about these other 3 as well
Me: Did you show me this information?
Tall Guy: If you knew how to do your job I wouldn’t have to come back here twice in one morning
Me: None of us are mind readers, we answer the questions we’re asked only. Plus I’m with someone right now and I don’t think she’s enjoying you talking over her head.
Tall Guy: Fucking asshole!

5.
Regular Looking Man: I need to know what fine is suspending my license
Me: (punching his info in) There are 3 tickets suspending your license. You can either pay all three of go to the different locations where they were filed and apply for a reopening of the cases. Unfortunately, yours were filed the Scarborough AND the Mississauga office, so you’ll have to go to both places to apply for reopening
Regular Looking Man: Why? Why can’t I do it all at the same place?
Me: A justice of the Peace will assist you with your request only at the office where the tickets were filed, they need the original ticket.
Regular Looking Man: (pulling all 3 tickets out of his pockets) I have the originals right here, can’t just one person help me?
Me: These are your copies, the ones the officers gave you at the time. The original copies, the white ones, were filed at their respective courts.
Regular Looking Man: Where are they?
Me: Sir, look at the back of these tickets. All the information you need is there. It’s really important you read what the officers give you otherwise you’re stuck like today and your license has been suspended because you just ignored the tickets. (then pointing out the different address he needs to go to written at the back of his copies)
Regular Looking Man: What time are they open?
Me: (moving my finger one line below to show the times they are opened)
Regular Looking Man: I don’t know why they make is so hard for people to fight these tickets.
Me: I think it’s because they don’t want you to get another one.

6.
At 11:00 am, after waiting until there was absolutely no one in line for 2 or 3 minutes, I put up a sign in my window saying I was on my break for 15 minutes and would returned at 11:15am. Then I close the blind leaving just a little bit of space at the counter level.

Housewife: Hello?
Me: (On ignore)
Housewife: Hello? I can see you. I know you’re there
Me: If you can see me, surely you can see the sign on the window too.
Housewife: Yes, but I only have a quick question
Me: It will have to wait until I return from the restroom
Housewife: (huge sigh) That’s ridiculous!
Me: Well, we could send you the cleaning bill or you could wait until I’m back.

Ah… Beautiful Old City Hall… Can’t wait for tomorrow.

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