Last night, I probably savoured the most delectable dinner in all my time in Toronto. DR’s family was in town to celebrate his mom’s birthday and as it is the occasion when we get together, we all gather at a restaurant to celebrate. This year’s choice was Lola’s Commissary.

The idea at Lola is to share food with your table mates… We were 11 and this could have been disastrous, but Da made the very wise decision to let Lola bring us her choice from the menu… I think we tried every thing, and every new dish was better than the previous one. It was absolutely amazing, and I was soooooo full. Yet, I couldn’t resist Lola’s chocolaty heaven of a cake. Yu – uuum!

During the course of the night, I had 2 Lolas (tequila, ginger ale & cranberry juice), approximately 8 glasses of water and 1 coffee. And I didn’t go visit the gentleman’s room before leaving for our 30 minutes walk home… I’m stupid, I know.

Leaving the restaurant, walking with the family since we were going in the same direction, my body started giving signs that washrooms would be needed soon… I felt a lot of #1 and a little of #2 building up. Those who know me very well know that #2 is only reserved for the privacy of my own home (now you know too), so I knew I was going to have to wait and take care of both when I got home…

After we said our goodbyes to DR’s family, I gave DR the look he knows means we have to step on it, #2 is on deck, I was starting to have some type of cramp because my bladder was so full. Not a pleasant feeling, especially knowing that we still had another 10 minutes to walk, 7 if we went full speed and walked through red lights… which we did. 5 blocks to go… painful. 4 blocks to go… ayayayayaye… 3 blocks to go and then it happened: I looked behind, no one close, and although I hate this, I had to let one rip. And I did. And it wasn’t one of those little crampy-gassy thing either, it was a really looooooooooooooong one that continued to push out with every quick step I took. I was mortified, it just wouldn’t stop burping from my ass… but as we arrived to the last corner, when I could see our home from across the street, my body took a break from leaking air and all was good. I still ran across the street as the light turned red leaving DR behind and took a 3 minutes lead on him to have my “time alone”.

We always laugh at each other’s farts, I don’t know why men find this so funny, but I have never experienced something so unreal, so long, and so noisy… And thank god the wind was against us.

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