When I was just a little baby, my parents owned a little local restaurant by the beach serving burgers, hot-dogs and french fries. The local youths could also find a jukebox there with all the hits as well as a pool table and some pinball machines. It was a very popular spot all summer long. My parents were the shit.

Over the years, they transformed it into more of a convenient store and kept it open all year round. When I was 7 years old they sold it and we moved into a brand new home a few streets away.

Years later, while I was in my teens, that same convenient store was purchased by my aunt and my parents spent a lot of time helping (read running the place) and making sure the business was a success again. The same customers who used to come when my parents owned the store were still coming by and were happy to see them involved once more. At the same time, the little Summer Town that was kept growing as more companies were moving to the area, which meant more houses being built and more people needing stuff. The more the people, the bigger the chance you’re going to find some majorly stupid ones.

My mom and I definitely share one thing for absolutely sure: A sarcastic sense of humour. (We are also blessed with a fantastic lack of patience, but that’s for another post.)

My mom quickly started to nickname the regulars based on their stupidity, or their buying habits, or their looks… Say for example, if a regular customer had a really large nose, she’d come back to the kitchen after serving him and announced that NOSE had just come by. Or if a customer always bought a strawberry pie everytime he came, he’d then be nicknamed STRAWBERRY PIE for the rest of his buying days. One guy used to buy Mark Ten King Size cigarettes and always asked for it very quickly like the four words were only one, plus unluckily for him he couldn’t pronounce the R and K sounds very well AND he had a lisp, so when he came by, my mom would returned and say that MAR-TEN-KING-SIGE had just dropped buy.

She always made me laugh.

Of course, today, I’m back at a position where I serve people all day long, not unlike a convenient store… and we do see the same people drop buy frequently… After 2 years of seeing some of them, I have developed the same habit as my mom’s had…

No one really laughs with me at work, but I find it fucking funny every time I see SNOTTY NOSE walk through the door, or if HORSE FACE starts filling out his forms, or when I ONLY OWN ONE BEIGE SUIT starts asking about files from the clients he represents. It always brings me back to my teens.

How sweet.

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