DR and I were only 200 ft away from the front door when I realized I had forgotten my 5th week Strike paycheque at home. There was a huge omission on it and I wanted to to go the Union’s office during my lunch time to fill out the paper required to get this fixed.
I was also running late as I took my sweet time getting ready for work this morning and didn’t really have time to go back and get it.
See, I had purposely left the cheque by my computer so I would remember to put it in my work bag, but everytime I saw the it over the weekend, I’d put it out of my mind until next time… which of course led to this morning, 2 blocks away from home.
For some reason, it put me in an instant foul mood and that’s when this dwarfish-pixie-haircut-50-yrs-old-but-I-want-to-pass-for-20-with-my-capris-and-my-fat-ass-and-my-espadrilles crossed the street and started walking right behind us, not passing, not slowing down, just behind us, just like she was trying to listen to our conversation. THAT DRIVES ME FUCKING NUTS!!! I honestly cannot stand this. An entire empty sidewalk and this idiot trying to get in the space between my underwear and my ass.
And then it happened. She talked. More to the point, she said: “Excuse me” and as both of us turned around to see what was going on, she just waltzed in between us and went on her way. Just like our two fat asses were just blocking her way… With steam coming out of my ears I turned to DR and loudly said: “IS SHE FOR FUCKING REAL?” “SHE SERIOUSLY COULDN’T WALK AROUND US???” “I THINK IT’S TIME TO MOVE OUT OF THIS ZOO CITY, I CAN’T STAND ITS MONKEYS ANYMORE!” And on and on and on.
She never turned around to acknowledge how annoying she had just been, which is a good thing because I could lose my job if I get charge for assault, but we actually watched her going and try to do it to two business men walking side by side a little ahead of us. The fat one of the two would have none of it and thankfully he made her walk around him instead of both of them moving out of her way.
I can share the sidewalk, that’s not an issue, in fact I always make it a point to never walk in the middle of it and stick to the right, just like cars do on the road, but man-oh-man, why do people have to be so irritating? I won’t move out of the way for bicycles, I won’t move out of the way for baby carriages, I won’t move out of the way for scooters because I give them all the space they need to start with. You want to pass me? Go around me. This “little” bitch caught me by surprise this morning and it was all I could do not to rip her head off à la SUPERJAIL, the most ultra-violent-bloody-fun-show-ever:
My God! You are my separated at birth twin…
Well… Hello brother!
What Sharkboy didn’t mention is that we were literally right on a corner so it wasn’t like we were blocking a sidewalk. A quick scoot left or right of us could have avoided this.
I like to think I have a lot of patience but when she did that Nazi-esque “divide and conquer” move I was shockingly verbal.
“Excuse me!”
“You could go around!”
It was like the souls of a thousand NYC inhabitants took over my mouth.
I hate that! Just like I hate when you’re on a half-empty subway but, someone decides to park their butt in the chair right beside you!
for amusement sometime, try walking with a cane. most people give me some space, but there are always a few who decide that i’m invisible and should be run over. thankfully canes can be used as weapons as well as support. and, thanks for exposing me to superjail.
See? Some people might see a cane as a negative, but you can see the positive in it.
DR is the one that found out about Superjail (of course) and after one episode, I was sold. Every episode must kill approximately 500 jailers. At least.