And the list goes on, and for some weird reason, a lot of stupid things were heard at Epcot that week, I guess being such a large park, with so many guests, the risks are higher you’ll run into an idiot

#4
While walking around World Showcase, just entering the United Kingdom area, we start hearing the crazy antics of Off Kilters, the rock-celtic type band playing the outdoor stage of the Canadian pavillion. All of a sudden this fat housewife shrieks: “Miiiiiiike. Miiiiiiiiiiiike, the bagpipes” to which the fat husband nonchalantely replied: “Yeah, yeah” and goes back to what he was doing, drinking a pint. Unhappy with this, the fat housewife goes on: “Miiiiiiiiiike, Miiiiiiiiiike, I’m going to the bagpipes” and again, very matter-of-factly the fat husband replied in between sips of his Guiness: “Yeah, yeah”.

How dare she want to do something while there is still foam in his pint.

#3
While taking in Turtle Talk With Crush at The Seas pavilion, Crush started asking questions to the little guys in the front row. By the way, if you’ve never seen this attraction, do yourself a favour and go at least once, we’ve laughed so much everytime we’ve been. But back to our story, Crush is taking in questions from the tykes and answers as best he can using his surfer-dude dialect. After raising his hand many times and being ignored, Crush finally chooses him. The host runs to his side and gives him the microphone. Without hesitating one second, the tyke asks: “Where do turtles go to the bathroom?”. The crowd exploded in laughter and Crush’s expression was one of surprise, he then swan behind rocks and only with his eyes showing above the rocks, we suddenly saw bubbles coming up behind him… after a little bit, he returned to the forefront and exclaimed: “That’s where turtles go to the bathroom”.

Worth the price of admission right there and then.

#2
After a long day, we were tired and were debatting if we should stay to watch Illuminations, the Epcot fireworks extravaganza. The dark clouds of stormy weather were looming around helping us with our decision to start walking back slowly towards the exit gates and keeping our eyes on the fiery display. We’re sort of walking 5 steps, then stop, turn around to watch a bit, then walking a bit more, then stop, turn around to watch a bit, you know how that goes. All of a sudden, the big mighty Globe situated in the middle of the lagoon becomes alive pretty much at the same time as the thunder sounded horribly close. A young child holding his mother’s hand exploded in scream, scared of the thunder and wouldn’t have any of it anymore. The mother trying to reassure him stupidly said: “But look baby, the globe is… showy”. We were pretty much running by then, trying to avoid a huge soaking. I’m not sure how this globe was supposed to calm the child down, but I guess it’s a secret between mothers and children.

Sometimes, mothers should listen to their children and get the hell out of there when lightning and thunder comes.

And finally, #1
Again, at World Showcase, this time in France while trying to get a glimpse at the delicious desserts at the Boulangerie Patisserie café, the guy in front of us picks up his cell phone which started to ring: “Bonjour” then nothing. So then he tried in his mother tongue: “Hello? Yeah we’re in France that’s why I said bonjour. Ok, just meet us here. Yeah. Noooo. Just walk to the lake, then turn right. If you’re facing the lake you just turn right. Yeah. You’ll pass Canada, then “English”, then, there’s a bridge. Yes, pass the bridge. Then it’s France, we’re right there.”

Huh, dude, the French pavilion is mighty large, you might want to tell him what restaurant in France you are about to stuff yourself? Oh and can you ask him to pick me up one of them gorgeous flags from the country of English? Thanks. Au revoir. That’s French for you’re a fucktard.

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