Sharkboy

This morning after getting dressed for work, knowing it was going to be a beautiful sunny and warmish day, I decided to reach deep in the coat closet and wear something a little lighter than I have in the past few months. I picked this nicely fitting steel blue jacket that DR gave me years ago. A jacket he had bought second hand from the cool Kensington Market. A jacket I had not worn in a long time.

In fact the last time I wore that jacket was the last time I spent time with my dad and family for a happy event, my parents 50th anniversary. We had ordered a cake for the occasion and the receipt was hidden in the left hand side pocket.

Today instead of being sad about his passing, this cake receipt just reminded of how beautiful a day it was when DR and I picked him up at the hospital and drove him home for the weekend. How beautiful it was that the entire family was together with tons of friends to celebrate my parents, my mom, my dad. How beautiful it was to share laughter and memories together. How beautiful the weather was that day… just like this morning was promising to be.

Today instead of being sad, I was happy. Happy to remember all the good he brought me.

My office arch-enemy came to me today and asked if I wouldn’t mind changing the way I sign certain forms we have to fill out after reviewing court requests. We share the same initials and it turns out we both sign these forms the same way, with our initials instead of our full name. imagine that!

I performed for my best pensive look for 1.5 second and replied: “Humm, yeah, no!” and turned back to whatever it was I was doing at the time. He seemed puzzled when he added: “Well, is it yes or no, I’m confused”. I just looked back at him and said: “Yeah, I hear you AND No I’m not doing it!”

He just made some kind of “humph” sound and then did a military heel-turn and walked away!

I expect to be called in an office tomorrow as I could tell he spent a good hour or so writing an email to my supervisor… Knowing her, she’ll ignore him as well.

2 weeks ago today, a co-worker of mine passed away from a heart attack. He hadn’t been well lately. Sadly, not only was he getting ready to go on a cruise in mid-April but he was planning his retirement for later on this year.

Him and I weren’t BFF, I thought he was a bit too much of a gossip, but I did like his sense of humour and he did make me laugh fairly often.

The news of his passing hit us all pretty hard, he had been working in that office for more than 30 years and was well known.

Our manager decided to have a councellor come to our office to speak with individuals who might appreciate the help he/she could bring. I didn’t feel the need to go to a session, maybe if I was a student or a young adult with no real experience of losing someone, but unfortunately I’ve had my share and have my own way to cope with death. A few people took the offer though and were whisked away from their duties for 1.5 hour…

The funeral for my co-worker was last Saturday and the place was jam packed, a testament to his popularity with friends and co-workers and to his love from his family.

Funny thing is not one of those co-workers who “needed” councelling showed up to the funeral… Fuckers just needed an extra hour to digest their lunch?

There are days when all you do is notice how fucked up and annoying people around you are… days like today:

Walking to work today, there was a woman in front of me that kept opening her golf size umbrella, then closing it, then opening it again, then closing it again… this went on and on and on… 4 blocks later, I finally said out loud: “Make up your mind lady”… She didn’t acknowledge me… Koo-koo!!!

A bit further on that same walk, a mature woman and her man were walking towards me, she was holding a dreaded Tim Horton’s cup of coffee in her hands. As she was coming closer, she threw the lid on the ground and splashed the rest of her coffee on the sidewalk and then proceeded to “roll up the rim” to see if she won something. I looked straight at her when she passed me and said: “Your not making art you know!” She mumbled something back… I hope she chokes on the lard donut she might have won… bitch!

At Starbucks, a woman two places in front of me ordered a Tall Non Fat Latte, then continued her “deep” conversation about nail polish with her friend. As I was ordering my drink, I kept hearing the barrista going: Tall Non Fat Latte – Tall Non Fat Latte – Tall Non Fat Latte – Tall Non Fat Latte. Do you know how annoying that is when someone keeps repeating the same thing because the person she’s talking too is “way” too busy to fucking turn around and take the fucking drink… I said out loud: “Do you want me to throw it at her?” The barrista giggled but didn’t give me the drink to do so… Finally, the nail polish girl, without stopping her conversation, extended her arm so the barrista could place the drink in her hand… I would have dropped some one her…. Tall Non Fat Latte – Tall Non Fat Latte – Tall Non Fat Latte…

At work, I was hypnotized by a woman in the waiting room that took some hand lotion out of her bag and I kid you not rubbed her hands together for more than 15 minutes and was still doing it when I finally had to move on with my life… 15 fucking minutes??? This is me with hand lotion… finished… 10 seconds.. voila… you didn’t have a chance to see me do it, I’m that fast…

A guy asked me how he could change his court date, I told him he had two options, one to send someone on his behalf at the court hearing and that person could request a new court date for him, the other, a bit more complicated was to file a motion to change the date, go to the prosecutor’s office at Old City Hall (15 minute’s walk away) and he’ll be given a date to meet up with a Justice of the Peace to request the new date. He then asked me what he could do since he didn’t know anyone who could go on his behalf, so I said his option would be to file the motion himself. He asked me what was involved in doing that… I repeated my speech about how to do it. So he said that it sounded complicated, that it would be easier if he sent someone… I agreed with him and I thought it was over… but he asked me again about filing the motion and how would go about it… I put both my hands on the counter, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said: “Ok, I’m going to go slowly and I will stop at every sentences and you will HAVE to tell me you have understood what I just said. The guy behind him started to laugh. And I went on, and stopped, and continued when he told me he understood, then stopped again, and continued after he acknowledged once more. After all this, he said he’d send someone for him….

A woman walking in front of me while coming back home after work got hit by a bicycle in Alan Gardens Park. She was just minding her own beeswax but the cyclist was on the phone… and smoking too… Jesus fucking christ… can’t you just ride your bike anymore, simply just ride it… do you have to smoke and talk on the phone too??? Luckily she wasn’t injured and to my delight she gave him a lashing with some good choice words… he gave her the finger… Precious.

I saw more doctors in March than I did in the last 10 years…

Flashback to July 2008
(Insert your own flashback music here)

Last July I went to my doctor after spotting a droplet of blood in the washroom. Pretty fucking scary thing if you ask me. After a quick look up places I can’t see for myself, he diagnosed a very small hemorrhoid problem. I asked what I could do about it, he simply replied that I should breathe out when I exercise and to eat more bran…

Also last July, I went to see my eye doctor. After a series of ridiculous events (he wrote my information in my husband’s file, he wrote my husband’s info in his father’s file, gave me wrong prescription for the left eye) I finally got new glasses and contacts, which weren’t right for me.

Last November, I went back to the eye doctor as I couldn’t wear my contacts at all and my glasses were giving me a headache. He was surprised that there was quite another jump in my vision and gave me new contacts prescription and redid my glasses… Annoying!!!

In December was my physical. All was well. I brought up the hemorrhoid problem again, I brought up the fact that the eye doctor couldn’t seem to find the right prescription for me. I also brought up that I had had a couple of small kidney stones attack and ever since that there was some kind of “stinky” odor in my urine… He thought there might be a bacteria in the urethra. We’d know from the urine test I’d go for at the same time as the blood work later on that morning at the lab.

Mid-January was my follow-up appointment to get results from blood work. Everything was fine. I asked him again about the hemorrhoid as every once in awhile I kept noticing droplets of blood, nothing he could do, eat bran and breathe when I exercise. I mentioned about the eye problems again, I was getting concerned that I had to change prescriptions twice in one year. He said he could recommend a specialist if I wanted, I said yes please. I also mention about the “un-nice” odor I still smell when I urine. He said there were no infections showing in the urine test. And then he looked at me and said: “I really don’t know what to do with you! I’ve done everything I could do for you!” I was a bit stunned by that comment, if he’s done EVERYTHING he can, then it’s time to send me to a specialist… but instead of giving me referrals, he just went on: “You know Michel, you’re pretty lucky, you got all this work done and it didn’t cost you a thing. I just took my cat to the vet and it cost me $250 to have him weighed, have his teeth checked, get his shot, but you’ve got all these tests done and it didn’t cost anything”.

Huh!!

What??

Huh!! & Waht??

Then another Huh!!

I put on my clothes and didn’t say a word… I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but that seem to easy. I picked up my bag and said nothing as I left… puppy dog eyes and all.

After talking to DR about it, and getting his help through his doctor’s receptionist, we managed to secure an appointment with another doctor in that practice and transfer my file to him. My first visit with him was on March 6th. After a few minutes talking, he right away referred me to an ophthalmologist to check my eyes, then to a urologist to see where this odor was from… and I got booked at the Rudd clinic for April 6th to take care of that pesky hemorrhoid problem once and for all. I felt better already…

I saw the urologist on March 16 and he promptly booked me for a CT Scan for March 31st. All is clear, no more crystals forming and out of the blue the odor is gone…

I saw the ophthalmologist on March 30th and she scheduled me for another test on April 20th, there might be a problem with the pressure in my eyes.

On top of that, on March 27, I found myself going to the hospital’s emergency room because for no reason I can think of my left knee wouldn’t bend anymore, got swollen and started to throb… 6 hours later, I left with some anti-inflammatory pills. The morning after I could already dance.

Today, I’m feeling much better… I have a new doctor, I have a new eye doctor… Let’s just hope the dentist doesn’t piss me off on my next visit.