Sharkboy

We’re going back to Disney World this year, and since we’ve been so many times before, I’m trying to make this trip more about the side of Disney we don’t see all the time. I want to get backstage with some tours, see “how they do things”…

So in preparation, we’ve bought some books that talk about where the ideas for certain attractions come from, what was the original idea that brought them to life and how the attraction has changed from the idea stage to the final product… One of these books is The Disney Mountains: Imagineering At Its Peak:

This was such an impressive read. Not only is the writing fun and full of interesting anecdotes, but it is mind blowing to find out all the “firsts” that Disney have created. As well, they really depict the lengths they have gone through to perfect their ideas, from drawings, to small models, to larger scale models, to engineering the final product within years of hard work. But most importantly, it is filled with imagery and artistry that keeps your eyes on a painting or drawing for hours looking at all the details incorporated in the glorious renditions of these famous Disney artists…

I am now reading: Imagineering Field Guide to Epcot at Walt Disney World and it is just a interesting and full of fun trivia.

I can’t wait to be in the parks again. I can’t wait to see it all again.

Looking through these books reminded me of all the great posters Disney has created for their attractions… Hope you like:

30 days and counting!

I’m sorry… I just did…

This morning while at work and chatting on email with DR, we agreed on 2 things: No more buying chips or chocolate if we were serious about losing weight before our upcoming trip AND no more wasting money on things we don’t need and save as much as we can before leaving too…

Well, I didn’t buy chips or chocolate.

But c’mon man, I work so close to HMV, how am I supposed to walk in there, see all the new releases and not be tempted… IT’S TUESDAY NEW RELEASE DAY for fuck sakes!!! But still, I was strong enough to not buy anything until I made my way out and I found this “limited edition” deluxe box set of the complete series of LAND OF THE GIANTS for $21 only… THAT’S 21 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! When that box set came out it was $299 and then after a while they sold it for $199 for the longest time… and now, I guess to make room for more inventory of crap that might of might not sell, they must be getting rid of the 50 or so extra box set they had. For $21, this is what they gave me:

Anyone in their 40′s will definitely remember that Irwin Allen gem. I used to live for Tuesday afternoon at 5pm so I can turn on to French CBC and watch Land Of The Giants… I so wanted to be one of those small people living amongst giant things…

If you don’t know what the show is (shame on you) take a look at this:

But still… I broke a promise… I hate myself.
(Dr… forgive me? It really is the gift of entertainment that I give you)

Yesterday, after our outdoorsy excursion, and visit to Henry’s camera store, we came home for a quick lunch. We noticed a sign on a post announcing a Garage Sale, to which DR quickly expressed: “Hey, they forgot the B”…

Of course, we went, I mean who can resist the start of Garage Sale season? There was a mannequin in pieces but unfortunately missing her arms, too bad. There was some really ugly paintings, some retro ashtrays on a stand, tons of books I’d never read, some sad clothing, 3 or 4 old style typewriters, knick-knacks of all kind, all with prices written on torn pieces of masking tape… wowzie… and then we saw this thing I needed to have. I asked the guy if it worked properly and he replied: “Yes. Course. And Chip too for $15″ to which DR started to look for the chip on the item, but I quickly informed him that he probably meant that it was cheap at $15… DR offered him $10 but the old European and his wife weren’t offering anymore bargain than what was on the price ticket…

I didn’t need it, but I really wanted it. I knew exactly where I’d put it too… and here it is, our latest addition to the Adventure Room:

DR felt all butch with the power tool cutting a hole for the electrical plug at the back of the bookshelf. It will be turned on for every party we will ever have in the future… fuck yeah!

This morning, with the promise of a summer day, we got up early and rode our bicycles to the market for a delicious peameal bacon sandwich and then rode to the ferry docks so we could make our way to the Toronto Islands and do our first visit of the year.

Was a bit cooler early in the morning but it didn’t take long before the sweater found it’s way inside the backpack DR was carrying.

It was great to be there on our own, I had never seen the place deserted like this:

Then we found an interesting geometric toy, again totally deserted for our pleasure:

That’s me lying right smack in the middle

And that’s DR. Poor dear

Then just before returning to the dock where this magnificient statue stands:

We found this poor little guy:

remenescing of another little pic from last summer.

But we made sure he rested in peace, and made him a cross.

Then we stopped at Henry’s and looked at cameras… oh lord…

Yesterday, at 2pm, all over the city, was our annual 20-minute makeover, where people go out and pick up trash around their houses, their office buldings, their parks, and help keep the city clean. I was walking back to my office after lunch when the clock stroke 2pm, and all of a sudden these 2 employees of Bank of Montreal at the Bay and College area come out from the front doors of their branch. Both are holding on to a big plastic yellow bag, and both are wearing latex gloves as well. A man in his 20′s, probably a counter clerk and a woman in her 40′s, dressed up in a power suit, most likely some type of manager, and together they start walking down the sidewalk… and then the camera flash… It’s a photo-op… she’s really not going to clean up or pick up any trash, just wants her photo in Bank of Montreal Weekly.

Oh but no, wait a minute, she spots a couple of cigarette butts on the ground by the doors. Pointing at them, she says something in her native asian language and the guy bends over, picks them up and throw them in the bag while she stands in her heels. Another camera flash… Hurray!

Mind you, those two losers did more than I did during the city’s 20- minutes makeover, but at least I did make it worst like the fat fuck coming my way who finished his diet coke and left it on the sidewalk by the Starbucks, approximately 12 steps away from a nice shiny garbage can.

Today, we’re going to ride our bicycles and enjoy the clean city before too many fat fucks drinking diet coke terrorize the place some more.

This very good looking, early 30′s, professionally dressed young woman came to my counter today and threw 2 traffic tickets in my direction and with a nice smile, said: “I don’t know what to do with these”. I looked at her and ran through the options that were written at the back of the tickets. With the same charming smile, she said: “So basically, what I have to do is bend over and take it up the ass”. I replied: “Ok, but watch how you say that”. Without hesitating, she went on: “They’re my tickets, I pretty well will do what I want”.

I saw what she was doing, she was trying to be “just one of the guys” with me… unfortunately for her, she was talking to “just one of the girls” and her charm wasn’t working at all… so I said: “Very true, but you are in a court office, that language is not tolerated in here and if you want to stay and be served, you’ll have to have some decorum and remain polite”.

Her smile totally vanished, her face became flushed and looking down she said that she’d take the trial option.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw the Court Officer laughing.

Well, it’s more a lack of talent: I cannot imitate anything. I suck at imitating. And I try so hard.

This came to a realization when DR and I were walking down Carlton Street quite a few years back and I saw this man on a bicycle, back totally straight… his stance on the bike was the same as Elmira Gulch from The Wizard of Oz, so I quickly thought of humming the score from that part of the movie… and DR started to laugh because he knew what I was trying to do but also knew it was an epic fail…

Trying to imitate some of my favourite characters and their famous line from movies or tv shows? Epic fail.

Worst of all, is I can’t even imitate myself… DR has this clip of me at Disney voicing Iago the parrot from Aladdin… I’m so bad in it that it makes him laugh and laugh. I sound like Iago the chain-smoker, high on crack and drunk on Listerine. Sometimes to make him laugh I’ll re-enact that moment, and I suck the big one… another epic fail.

(yep that’s me not sounding like Iago at the beginning)

But I can bake a quiche without looking at a recipe, so I guess I have some talent… right?

I don’t watch Saturday Night Live anymore, I’m usually in bed way before it starts… I’m a loser… but I read about this little sketch in Entertainment Weekly and watching the clip made me laugh:

I’m gonna smoke your ass!!

Ahahaha.. that shit is gold!

When I first moved to Montreal for college, in my late teens, I discovered a fine downtown treat: “des steamés de la rue St-Laurent“. These steamies are in fact hot-dogs cooked with steam and are served with mustard and cabbage… could sound gross to the uninitiated, but trust me, they were fucking delish… In those college days, I could get 3 steamies and a coke for $2… a real bargain for students.

Later on, it became a place we stopped by after a night out in the bars when we needed something to soak up the alcohol in our stomach… never go to bed drunk if you have the chance to put a couple of steamies in there…

Then I moved away and I forgot all about the steamies… Until a few weeks ago when I was listening to some French songs and one mentioned those mouth-watering St-Laurent famous hot-dogs and I started really craving one. Or three.

We had already planned a visit to Vermont for Easter and I knew we’d be passing through Montreal, so I thought I could take a few minutes to stop and introduce the local “delicacy” to DR… YEH… Steamies!

So after a nice visit with DR’s mom in Brockville, we finally arrived in Montreal, parked the car, rushed to Archambault to look for Quebec movies on DVD that I must add to my collection, then made our way to St-Laurent street for some food.

(If my story was like a Wizard of Oz type movie, this is where it would start showing in colour)

We arrive, I recognize the area, I haven’t been here in 16 yrs now. I see a restaurant that looks familiar, we walk in… it’s changed man! Where are all the pictures of the celebrities who posed with the owner? Where are all the pool tables? And why are there tables??? We never used to sit, we used to stand or lean against the long bar on one side of the room… It just looks so cheap all of a sudden… I order anyway, 2 steamies each and some diet drinks… the guy puts mustard, yes, cabbage, yes, relish, NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO…. fuck no!

I’m not happy, this is not what I remembered… and why are DR and I the only customers in the place, where are all the other blue collar guys? It used to be packed all the time… oh well, so much for the steamies I had gone on and on and on about to DR. Disappointed, we leave and continue our walk towards Old Montreal, I had to take a picture of City Hall for my collection of City Halls of the World…

As we walk along south on St-Laurent, 4 doors down, I see Montreal’s Pool Room. The infamous Montreal’s Pool Room of my youth, home of the St-Laurent Steamies… It looks exactly as I remembered, it’s full of people, a long line up of hungry dudes waiting to get served so they can play pool and laugh and live life and hit each other on the shoulders like dudes do when the do dudes things… It should’ve been us in there, drool on the side of our mouths… but no, we got the bad steamies from the shitty place above. And we’re not hungry anymore…

Next time… Next time for sure!

Montreal’s Pool Room, will not forget the name again…