If you ever meet me and want to see magic, I’m your guy. I can turn my already-serious face to my “get-the-fuck-away-from-me-or-I’ll-dismantle-your-entire-body” face in a millisecond, just by witnessing one of these two things:

1. If I seem in a regular serious mood, don’t come up to me and say: “smile!” #18… that just sends me… fuck I hate it when people do that, as if all of a sudden I’ll realize that I have absolutely no worries and was just being selfish and really should let everyone enjoy my smiles… fuck off already, I smile when people give me a reason to smile…

OR

2. When you enter a place, don’t be a douche and go: “HellOOOOooo” like they do in movies and shit, you know the one I mean when someone enters an apartment and want to make their presence known and they almost sing the word “hello”?… I’d sooner rather hear: “Hey Lucy, I’m a hOOOOmooo” or “Where’s my dinner bitch!”. There’s at least a trace of humour in there and am most likely to respond that I’m in the living room watching the tele or in the kitchen making a gin & tonic or in the crapper making a.. well, you know…

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