Today, while chatting with a friend, the subject came on about how much she was annoyed with a co-worker doing the ever graceful baby talk #67 over the phone with her boyfriend… you can easily imagine how the conversation between the two went, if not here’s a bit of an example for you baby-talk-challenged:

This whole little conversation reminded me so much of something else that happened to me years ago while at work. I just remember losing it completely and then feeling really bad that it wasn’t just in my head but out loud.

So I’m at work, 12 years ago, a co-worker just came back from maternity leave, when maternity leave was actually 6 months long and it was obviously hard for young mothers to leave their child behind to go back to work… I’m not heartless, I get it… really. But this co-worker would call home at the drop of a hat to see how the baby was doing… most often probably waking the poor sleeping baby with the sound of the telephone… One afternoon after way too many calls home, I exploded… Here’s how it went:

Co-worker: “Emmaaaa”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmmmmaa:
“pause”
Co-worker: “EEEEEmmmmmmmmaaaa”"
“pause”
Co-worker: ” “Emmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaa”
“pause”
Co-worker:”Emmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmaaa, it’s mommy”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emma”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmmmmaaaa, it’s mommy, Emma”
“pause”
Co-worker: “EEEEmmmmmaaaa, baby, it’s mommy”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmaaaaa”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmaaaaa. Hi baby”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emma, it’s mommy calling”
“pause”
Co-worker: ” Emma”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Emmaaaa”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Em…
Me: “Jesus fucking christ, if she didn’t answer the first 150 times, she won’t answer this time either…”
“pause”
Co-worker: “Ok… hum, I better go”

The next hour was spent crying in the women’s bathroom with all the female co-workers checking in on her… and me finally finishing my report in peace.

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