CBC wake up!!! You have a hit show on your hand and you’re about to fuck it all up…

I actually feel bad. Really, I feel terrible. All last week I was telling people to watch the new CBC reality show How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? The first two episodes were really good, they were taped at the audition time and perfectly edited showing a charming side of the Marias and the competition to come. The host, Gavin Crawfor was very funny, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber made a few polite and pleasant appearances (even threw in a few jokes), the judges were articulate and direct in comments and actions. They surprised everyone at the School of Marias by eliminating 10 candidates when they least expected it and continued with the top 40. At the end of the first show, they had all the remaining Marias singing together as one judge walked among them and tapping on the shoulders of the unlucky Marias, prompting them to leave but still continuing to sing… cruel I tell you… CBC Had A Hit… FINALLY!

Then they flew the remaining 20 Marias to London to perform for Lord Webber… who then invited them in groups of threes, twos and solo to be given their fate… Some cried, some were stunned, some laughed and these were only the ones rejected… Lord Webber chose his top 10 Marias and I was ultra pleased with them… My heavens above, could CBC really have a hit on their hands???

And then the first live show happened on Sunday… not only were there defective lights (the host announcing a singer completely in the dark), or sound problems (one Maria did half her number without knowing her microphone was off), or technical issues (one Maria had to literally wrestle a camera cable out of her way while belting her number), but Simon Lee decided to choose the songs for the Marias, supposedly to showcase their talent to Canada… huh… WRONG! Big mistake and totally unfair for someone like Katie to have to sing Girls Just Want To Have Fun while Donna has a power ballad from Dreamgirls or Jenna a most recognizable jazz number from Nina Simone… how could she compete and tell Canada she has talent by portraying cheap bubble gum pop on stage… oh yeah, and while this song choice was not humiliating enough, they put her in army boots, a tutu and a corset… I was sweating for her. But then again, the three judges were the biggest joke of the night… was Simon drunk or was he hysterical because of the new dentures he seems to be sporting??? The guy couldn’t sit still for one second… and why does he applaud like an extra in Planet of the Apes? No more drinks and less pills Simon please. Elaine, it’s ok to have a backbone, people like you and recognize your talent, don’t be afraid to tell the contestant how badly they are doing if they aren’t up to par, don’t be a freakin’ Paula Abdul and only try to find the positive. John Barrowman was the only judge to show show balls by telling the Marias how he felt, how else will they know where to improve if they don’t know what they are doing wrong. It’s a competition for the lead role in a major musical in a major city, not a daycare for would be actors. But John, no more crossing the arms and legs, it only says to the viewing public that your not that interested by what’s in front of you.

The worst part of it all was the voting system. Yes you can vote by telephone, yes you can text your vote, but in this household, we like voting online… CBC please take a good look at how your american friends do this because you suck big time. I manage to place 6 out of my 10 votes allowed. You have to choose a name, answer some questions, verify a key word, then hit vote. A message will appear to tell you an email is on it’s way and you must click on the link to confirm the vote. I received 5 emails to confirm before I went to bed, it took forever. DR gave up and logged off. He woke up this morning and his email confirmation was awaiting him… Not good enough CBC, if your server can’t handle a few thousand votes, then don’t offer this particular choice.

Tonight was the live result show, it was a tad better as far as live broadcast go but why are they letting A/V students run the show. The camera should be pointing at the person talking not try to guess where that person it. Simon you did the monkey applause thing again, better watch that. John the crossed legs and arms have got to go, seriously man.

This show has a lot of potential but it feels nervous, almost like they don’t remember how to put on a live show. But one thing that absolutely rocked was when they announced the person who would be leaving the show by telling her she was not Maria but her duties weren’t over just yet… Oh yes, as DR predicted, she was made to sing the famous Goodbye, Farewell song with the surviving Marias, I mean how cruel can a show get to a contestant? SharkBoy loves.

I will give it a few more tries and see if they improve their broadcast, I love the idea, I love that Lord Webber is involved and will be in Canada in July to check on the progress and I love that we are “able” (when they fix their server problems it will be better) to choose the winning Maria. Oh and I love this revised poster from the London production:

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