Sharkboy

I’m having a total hate-story with multiple-people-public-doorways these days, especially with revolving doors #51 and if I can avoid it, I’d rather push myself through a regular door at any office building, mall, theatre, hospital, etc. Fact is that I’m impatient (surprise, surprise) but also I hate relying on someone else so I can move forward.

This morning on my way to work it was raining, so I decided to take a shortcut through the business offices at 25 College St, which would lead me to Bay St, closer to work and a tad dryer too. After a few minutes of zig-zaging my way through the corridors and such, I arrive at the revolving doors, a few steps behind this slower-moving woman ahead of me, not enough time to pass her before she hesitantly steps in the available quarter of the door facing her, one hand holding a steaming coffee (Tim Horton’s blargh) with a purse hanging at the elbow, the other hand holding two large work bags. I hated her instantly. Meanwhile, outside, this other person opposite to her wanting to come in, looking straight at her, not sure if she should push the door or not as the bag lady just stands there, not offering any indication if she will move should the doors start going forward… After a few seconds of people looking at each other, I sigh loudly and then say for all around me to hear: “C’mon! The trick is to push it.” The bag lady didn’t turn around but the one outside, probably tired of the charade, decides to push the door. Bag lady moves with it, but still not pushing. That’s when I got in the quarter behind her and gave a nice push forward. The door hits bag lady in the back of her feet and makes her geddy-on-up forward until she’s finally outside, moves one little step forward and then… she stops moving again. Of course, I’m not gonna get stuck in the doors, so I continue forward, the door hitting her on the shoulder, her coffee splashing about. She turns to me with a startled look just in time to hear me say: “Careful stupid” and she yells back: “IT’S RAINING!!! Can’t I take time to get my fucking umbrella?”. I continue walking without looking back and laugh out loud: “Wow, a multi-purpose umbrella, too bad you can’t get one that opens doors too”. All I heard back after that was: “gibberish gibberish gibberish asshole gibberish gibberish”

Apparently she didn’t get the memo when chivalry died.

I was totally embarrassed on Saturday night when, with a bunch of friends on a rooftop of a building, we realized that Torontonians were giving the big middle finger #5 to this Earth Hour event…

We all gathered at the Mailman’s apartment and went to his rooftop deck overlooking Dundas Square a little before 8pm. Then slowly the lights started going off in the Square (to the relief of all tenants who have been blinded at night by the constant attack of flashing lights for the last few years now), then the big banks started going dark, then, nothing… almost like people didn’t know what was going on, almost like it hadn’t been on the news for the last while, on the papers, on the internet… See, a little before that, while watching the news at 6pm, we saw Sydney and Singapore go dark and I guess I was expecting the same here… nope.

Biggest offenders? The Federal Gov’t building downtown with ALL its lights on… The major hotels with all their signs on (except for the Sheraton on Queen St which is facing City Hall and would have been embarrassed to receive a call from the mayor who was celebrating with Nelly Furtado at Nathan Philip Square). Ryerson University with all their lights on, not that there was any classes going on…oh wait, I’m lying, at 8:45 their sign finally went off at the corner of Dundas and Dalhousie, but not the lights inside the building. And can someone explain why the baseball field lights at Moss Park had to be on, it’s not like they were in the middle of a game… but then again, before they were on full blast like this, low-lives used to shoot each other there… yeah… leave those on, we sleep better at night without the gun show.

I must admit that even with the lack of participation in the city, it was still nice for that period of time to see the stars in the sky, it’s not often we can do that here. Last time was with the big blackout of 2003.

And then at 9pm, the square started brightening again, one by one the signs lit up… almost on cue. Here and there, other buildings lighted their logos on top of their buildings too, and it was over. Except for the big banks who didn’t turn their lights on right away, I guess they saw another reason for profit by saving on the electric bill for another hour or so.

And before someone calls me hypocrite for not turning on our permanent lights in our kitchen, I’ll just defend myself by saying that the last time there were off, I found someone breaking into the apartment… those lights stay on regardless of Earth Hour or not… sorry Environment.

Here are some pictures DR took from his iPhone:

At 8:01PM

At 8:30PM

You know all is well when you break into a nerf baseball game with your boss in the middle of the afternoon in the call centre.

You know all is well when you do cartwheels in the hallway, fall on your ass and the VP of Marketing says: “nice landing”.

You know all is well when you spend an afternoon listening to Afternoon Delights just so you can write down the stupid lyrics and laugh for hours.

You know all is well when you have high-kicking contest and use a pen to mark every players score on the wall.

You know all is well when you spend an afternoon writing a dance routine to The Love Boat theme.

You know all is well when you start calling each others’ pagers while already in a meeting just so you can see them jump because it’s on vibrate mode.

That’s the kind of team I once worked with, we were fun, young, made good money working in a fun place.

There was this other game we use to play too: we’d sneak up behind someone, using anything we had in our hands at the time and pressing it against their lower back and ask out loud: “What’s Up Your Bum?”. Oh hilarity would always ensue.

Until that famous day when one of the gang tried that while waiting in line at the cafeteria… using her tray, she pressed it against my bum and asked the “catch question” quite loudly for others to hear… I mean other people from other departments that didn’t quite get the Marketing/Sales team the way we dug each other… And yes, there was a call made to Human Resources… And yes, we were called in to the boss’ office… It turns out Maggie, the extremely large and eternally single clerk from Accounting #71 took offense to our little game and complained. Luckily my boss was serious enough to tell HR he would talk to all of us so we would cease these type of actions – AND – funny enough that when he called us all in his office, he couldn’t keep a straight face trying to tell us how embarrassing his meeting with HR was.

Oh yeah, I forgot, after our pep-talk he showed us all a video-email he had just received from his girlfriend starring women putting oranges or apples inside their vageygeys…

We had an amazing time in our road trip through Southwestern USA.
DR took 491 pictures and is having fun relating the trip, go see… GO SEE.

VEGAS AND NEIGHBORHOOD

DESERT DRIVE

PALM SPRINGS

ANAHEIM – DISNEYLAND (YEHHHHH)

HOLLYWOOD

BONUS
click on the pictures to see Spongebob’s transformation

Good Spongebob

Mean Spongebob

Bad Spongebob

How was your March Break?

I left TOronto with an eye infection but I’ve seen so much cooter in two days it cured my eye problems.

(sent from my iPod whilst in gorgeous PAlm SPrings)

this from DR (click on link below):

Anti-Shark Device, do not buy!