… if you were at work and were just about to leave some documents on someone’s desk and asked:

Me: Hey Blarghk, these forms come to you right?
Blarghk: Hrumph! Don’t ask me. Talk to the Lead, she’ll know what to do with them.
Me: (in my head: “don’t speak. don’t speak. don’t speak,”)
Me: (speaking anyway) WWWWell, thanks, you’ve been immensely helpful (then walking away to find The Lead).
Blarghk: If you need my help, you’re going to have to be more polite with me, buddy.
Me: (turning around to face him) I wasn’t asking for your help, I don’t need your help, I was merely confirming a fact before putting your work on your desk. And don’t “buddy” me, that’s the last thing I am.
Blargh: (looking up, opening his mouth to say something)
Me: Don’t even bother, we’ve already had our last conversation.

He turned to his computer without saying anything, with a crooked-smile.

Shortly after, I was called in to help in another department for the rest of the day, so I locked my computer screen and went on my way. When I returned at 5pm, he was still at his desk, logging off, which was strange since he finishes at 4:30 and is normally pushing the “down” button at the elevator a nano-second after his shift is over.

I walked to my desk, unlocked my screen, and found this gem in my inbox, sent at 4:58pm:
(excuse his grammar and typos as he’s not really all there…)

Michel,
Today you put a business question to me where I refered you to the Lead for answer.
I did it in a straightforward way.
You commented that I was no help, which triggerd my need to explain to you my reason.
I stated that if you expect my cooperation I expect you to be polite to me in the future.
You not only did not chose to show a better side but your response was in fact provocing.
Please do not approach me untill you decide to be more friendly towards me.
Sincerely,
Blarghk P.

So I marched in my Supervisor’s office, put my hands on my hips and repeatedly tapped my right foot… she howled in laughter when she looked up… At least I’m glad they think he’s the joke and I’m not the bad guy here, but c’mon… what is it going to take to get this guy checked up for mental illness, he’s becoming a bit threatening and makes it totally uncomfortable to be around. I’m almost at the point that what happened in Missouri yesterday is weighing on my mind… And by the way, yep, same guy, same idiot, same ass-wipe as a few weeks ago. Just another email to add to my wall!

I’m tempted to dribble sugary liquids over the letters T, R, S and E on his keyboard after he leaves one day, or loosen-up / disconnect some hard to access wire to his computer, or fart on his chair, or glue one of the wheels from his chair, or throw-out his notebook, or take away his pen… but I won’t do that, I’m no longer living in High School.

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