…if you received this email, from a co-worker, 6 business days prior to your probation period of six months being over?

Michel,
As much as I find you an amiable and likable person, I would like to make you aware
that your frequent and freely conducted, not job related chatter at workplace is disruptive
and aggravating to my professional objectives.
I would greatly appreciate your cooperation in this respect.
Blarghk (actual person’s name modified)

And then after the few seconds it took you to realize that it wasn’t a joke, you went back to the top of the email and noticed that it was also copied to your Lead and your Supervisor.

Here’s what I did:
I took 2 huge deep breaths, decided to remain calm, thought of the probation period being over so soon and that I could always take further steps once I was officially part of the best Union in the world… I then replied, copying my Lead and Supervisor and without apologizing, I wrote:
Thank you for bringing this to my attention Blarghk (actual person’s name modified), it’s noted.

I then walked to my Supervisor’s office and she looked up. She rolled her eyes and told me to not worry about this, that she was very aware of my good work and my track record spoke for itself. That’s all I needed to hear.

Now I realize this person is a coward for doing what he did, we are literally 2 desks apart, there was nothing wrong with him turning around and asking me to be quiet if I was really bothering him. I would’ve just done that. But he didn’t. He also didn’t say anything to my other, much “unionized” cubemate, who he knew would’ve have ripped him another hole, no, he’s afraid of her. But knowing that I wouldn’t do anything in this situation, that I wouldn’t risk getting an extension on my probation or worse get canned for causing trouble or seeming difficult, he tried to bully me #42, he tried to intimidate me. I guess it all fell apart when he realized that nothing was being done. Nor the Lead or Supervisor replied to him. Totally ignored.

The day after the incident, at closing time, he voiced his insincere salutations for the evening and it fell on deaf ears, my Lead nor myself responded. He walked away and came back seconds later and then said: “This is it? We don’t exchange pleasanteries anymore?”. My Lead continued her telephone call and I turned away to my computer both of us ignoring him. He just walked away.

As for my personal “fuck-you” to him, I printed a copy of the email and posted it to my cubicle wall, and I know I have “curious” workmates, so should anyone read it and spread the word about it, there is nothing I can do about that, I’ll defend my action by saying that I only printed the email as a personal daily reminder to never acknowledge him, help him, be nice to him and to continue to ignore him long after the probation period has passed.

And yes, this is the same individual that was trying to teach me the dress code the day I kept my baseball hat on.

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