Sharkboy

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Mom & Dad, Dating	Musical Dad	My Punk Dad	Mom & Dad at their 50th Anniversary

I know how hard this year is for you, and still being in the hospital is the worst, I send you love and bright thoughts of better days ahead.

Oh, and I hate Hospitals (#7)!!!

There are some things I like about the Y, it’s only $40 a month for the membership, the equipment is plentiful and clean, it’s a huge place on 4 floors, they have 2 great pools and if you feel like it, you can even go on the rooftop for jogging or suntaning. It’s right smack in the middle of downtown.

There are certain things I don’t like about it though… I’d say I dislike 85% of the patrons and 50% of them, I simply hate! I’ll now refer to them as Ignor-a-trons (#72)!
Paying $40 a month for use of the gym doesn’t mean Ignor-a-trons now own it. It certainly doesn’t give Ignor-a-trons the right to break anything, to not wipe the equipment after use, to hog the machines by “resting” on them. If Ignor-a-trons don’t know how to use a particular one, their membership fees guarantees that Ignor-a-trons can ask one of the many fitness instructors on site at all time, they will gladly help. If Ignor-a-trons are on the threadmill, they should remember the simple rules of jogging: land on their heel, roll with the ball of their feet, push with their toes, repeat for other leg, and so on… that way Ignor-a-trons will avoid hurting their ankles, their knees and especially their lower back in the long run (no pun intended).
If Ignor-a-trons choose to set the speed faster than they can run, it’s not only stupid, it becomes amusement for others to watch; and pushing themselves up from the side bars is not really helping their cardio, since their legs are now running on empty like marionnettes stuck in hurricanes. Holding on from the front of the threadmill when they decide to have it on the highest incline is not helping Ignor-a-tons excercise either, it’s helping them break the equipment as it wasn’t meant to hold their weight that way, and next thing you know the nice fitness instructors will be forced to put the out of order sign on it and we’ll be 2 weeks without benefiting from that particular piece of equipment.

Ignor-a-trons are not only stupid in the gym area, it continues in the showers as well… This morning alone I witness an Ignor-a-tron wash his underwear and socks in the shower… I witnessed an Ignor-a-trons perform the loudest and longest most repetitive Farmer’s Blow in the sink, approximately 7 inches away from a perfectly visible box of tissues. Ignor-a-tron then proceeded to throw water in his face, and most of the counter around him and then pull out at least 43 individual paper towels from the dispenser to wipe his face. Another Ignor-a-tron decided that the showers were not for him, sinks are better suited for this Ingor-a-tron, who took his shoes and socks off and made sure to step on them as to not touch the tiled floor so he could wash his feet… I also saw an Ignor-a-tron leave the shower area without toweling himself off and walk all the way to his locker, wetting the entire floor to ensure that those getting dressed in that area would benefit from spending the morning with wet socks as they try to manoeuvre socks and shoes combo, I call this Ignor-a-tron: Aquaman!
Another Ignor-a-tron has a membership plus, which gives him access to a better locker room with more amenities, a permanent locker, free towels, wet/dry sauna… it’s a bit more expensive and you’ll find more of a business type of men in there… but also a bit boring… so that Ignor-a-tron takes a trek from the passage way that leads to the pool and comes to the welfare locker room and tries is luck in that dry sauna for some early morning action… how fun!!!

But then again, I might just be an Ignor-a-tron myself… This morning I packed my bag and forgot my towel… So I paid the $2 to get one at the front desk… at $2 I basically bought the towel I think. So after getting dressed, instead of disposing of the towel in the provided bins, I decided that I’m gonna take mine home and have a couple of use out of it… I leave the locker room and am on my way past the front desk when the alarm rings, the same type you’d find at HMV or any other store really… I immediately look at the attendant, semi-embarassed… Now, the morning attendant is not an Ignor-a-tron. Mel is the nicest guy there and he’s trying to make it easy for me, he says it might be a book or dvd… but of course, I have to dig for more embarassment… Is it my keys? I asked. Then put my second bag through, no beeping… Is it my wallet? then try to walk through without the bags, no beeping. I then volunteer, is it my watch?? And then Mel goes: NO! IT’S THE TOWEL!!! So this Ignor-a-tron sheepeeshly walks to the counter, open my gym back and give him the towel adding: ah, I guess we can’t use it more than once then… Mel says they have encoded them because they dissapear too quickly otherwise… I was going to argue that at $2 I wasn’t surprise to see Ignor-a-trons wanting to keep them, but I decided it’s best to shush and move on… I catch a glimpse of DR and he’s mortified, looking away from this Ignor-a-tron…

I will be very humble when I go back on Friday morning!!! But then again, I’m not one to hold a grudge… hehe!

A few months ago, my sis and I talked about doing something special for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. They were married on May 11, 1957. So we make arrangements to all meet at their house on the Saturday of their anniversary weekend and invite some family and friends to drop by in the afternoon for some refreshments, food and cake. Yum.

DR has an Aeroplan card and has been collecting points for awhile now and was told that if he didn’t use them by July 2007 he’d lose them, so he generously offers to make a reservation for the car using some of his points. Perfect. Even better we’ll get a nice SUV (sorry environment!). At the same time, why not use the points to also rent a car while we are in Orlando… excellent, we can rent for 2 days, just enough time to go to Universal Studios, the rest of the time will be spent at Disney World and we don’t need a car there. 2 car rentals done in one try.

Hey! Wait a minute, should we rent the Orlando car for 3 days instead? What if we want to visit more? Sure, cancel the reservation and rebook… oops, the reservation is with Avis (my mortal enemy in the car rental business)… oops, again… they cancelled the wrong reservation, the one for Montreal is now gone… no worries, let’s rebook… Montreal ends up with a Yaris, only car now available through points… huh, joy! But, hey, it’s freeeeeeeee – eee.

Bam, flash, it’s May 13th, celebration was great. We’re driving back from Montreal in our red PT Cruiser (the guy at the counter said we were upgraded from a Yaris because they had run out, I jokingly told him it felt more like a downgrade to me), the retro dance music is blaring and the car is shaking… shaking harder, I refuse to notice it. See DR’s entry for more details on our flat tire 5 minutes out of Brockvegas…

Blah, blah, blah, we give them the receipt, they tell us the’ll call us… And then, last Friday, after several emails and voicemails, I finally get in touch with the Avis manager of our rental location. She said she had been trying to get in touch with me in vain (we have had problems with our phone, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt) and wants to make arrangements to refund us the full amount. Perfect. In fact, Excellent! But she won’t do the refund through my credit card or issue a cheque, it’s much easier for her to do petty cash, so I have to go to the location and she’ll just give me the money in person. The long weekend is starting, best to avoid the place, so we make arrangement to meet on the following Tuesday after work, it will be much better then and certainly quieter… Tuesday May 22 at 17:30 it is… Appointment made!

Today, Tuesday May 22, at 16:30, my sharkie sense tingling, I call Avis to confirm the appointement (#43):
Avis: Hello
Me: Is R*na there please, it’s Michel Paquette regarding the refund for a tire I purchase last week.
Avis: No, she’s left for the day!
Me: *super dead silence of death with cream on top and an evil stare to match*
Avis: Can you call her tomorrow?
Me: NO, I’m on my way to your office specifically to meet her as we had made an appointment for the refund. She mentioned she needed to be there, only she had authority to process it…
Avis: huh…
Me: Give me her cell phone number, I need to speak with her right now!
Avis: I can’t do that
Me: … then, put me on hold, call her, remind her that she was to be at the office at 17:30!!!
Avis: Hold on…
*** at least 5 minutes go by, not even an peep of muzak on the line ***
Avis: I’m authorized to issue the refund, but she has an emergency and won’t be able to be attend.
Me: So, you have all the paper work? I’m not coming down there for nothing?
Avis: no, it’s all cleared up.
Me: Who should I ask for?
Avis: myself, T*ddy or T*ny
Me: Thank you! *click*

While at Avis, T*ny had to call R*na twice on her cellphone, even during her “emergency”.
Oh beautiful irony! A company that makes money on taking and holding reservations, but they can’t really seem to be able to take and hold an appointment.
But I left with my money and all is good now…

Somewhat similar to this Seinfeld episode from the 1990 season:
Jerry: Do you have my reservation?
Rental Car Agent: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That’s why you have the reservation.
Rental Car Agent: I think I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don’t think you do. You see, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.

Just came back from seeing Bears at the Inside Out film festival.
Fun little documentary about the 2004 IBR (International Bear Rendez-Vous) Mr. Bear Competition in San Francisco. Half way through the movie, the director introduces the last competitor. Lightning flash! DR turns to me and reminds me that we met that guy at a friend’s garden party in 2004 and since he introduced himself as Mr. Bear International, I guess the suspense of the documentary was suddenly over…
With his shirt off for a photo op at my request:

Here he is with the Mailman:

Knowing in advance who won didn’t take away from all the fun, the comedy and the drama. What did though, is the fact that while waiting in line, a gaggle of “E” Bears decided to go get stoned (#3) before the movie started, I guess to better enjoy the intriquate subtleties of… well… a documentary about… a pagent…
But then again, they probably need to get stoned to go through life as it is…

Saw it, loved it!
It’s a creepy good sequel. The tone is set right away in the opening scene, it is very tense with the close-up shots of a couple making dinner in the dark, hinting that something in the background is definitely going to happen… and they drag the suspense in a good way… The movie is full of intense moments like that and anyone who enjoys a good scary film, will enjoy this one. I also loved the fact that the music is almost a character in this movie, the music doens’t run away from the crazed zombies, but many times I found myself stressing because the choice and loudness of music was totally effective. Good ending too… Yeh! all around!

Now, this brings me to some other things… You just paid $13 to see a movie, you probably paid another $13 for the popcorn and drink you have in your hand… consider that your entertainment for the next 2 hours, keep your hand busy with stuffing popocorn in your mouth and keep your mouth busy with eating the popcorn, eyes on the screen… Arrive in time, don’t make people move seats because you couldn’t get your ass there for 7:10pm and you’re too lazy to look for 2 seats together in the dark… Don’t take calls on your cell phone… Don’t ask the person sitting next to you where “the girl with the dark hair” is because the 2 kids in the movie are now walking alone, it’s a zombie movie, if you blinked and a “dark haired girl” isn’t there anymore, 99% chances are she’s zombie food by now… But if you MUST ask someone where the “dark haired girl” is, please whisper… the other 300 people in the theatre are NOT interested in the fact that you might have fallen asleep, were too scared to watch, are a complete selfish idiot…
This is not your living room (#15), I’m not able to stop and rewind because I missed a piece of dialogue because YOU can’t follow the simple zombie, run, eat, kill, run with more zombie twist of the film.

Two days, two things I hate…

Well, I’ve toyed with the idea for awhile but was always put off by the techie side of it… then I married well and voila, six months later I have my own website… When DR told me how easy it could be all I heard was this: blee blee blee, blurh blurh blurh and a blah blah blah… and when I took my head out of my ass, this is what was it translated to: It’s $10 to buy the name, $50 to host the site for the year, it comes with webmail that I can download to your iMac’ mail, it’s that easy…

I’m not proud of it, but I’m probably the least tech savvy person I’ve had sex with, I don’t know the difference between ISP and FTP, but then again, the ring on my left hand’s middle finger is guaranteeing me a pass at the best web designer I know… Since buying the name, I’ve bombarded him with all sorts of ideas. Ideas, I have. Taking them from my French brain to your screen will test him to no end… I want music, animation and other fun stuff… See French Brain is already not able to put in it writing.. oh it’s going to be funnnnnn!

Mainly I’m doing this to snub Facebook (#98), I’m so freakin’ tired of hearing people talk about how many “friends” they have… AND I’m so not interested in “hooking up” with the geek in polyester pants and broke-ass glasses from grade 10 who is now continuously surfing Facebook in a sad attempt to put yet another “friend” in his pathetic collection… Plus, I’d probably say no if he asked.

See, I already hate something, and it’s only the first post!